Opinion: The New Toyota Supra Sucks

Introducing Felix Sourgrapes – the grumpiest car guy this side of a TVR mechanic. He will be a regular contributor to this site and in his first column he tells us why the new Toyota Supra Sucks

The new Toyota Supra Sucks. There. I said it. And while it will no doubt be blisteringly quick, probably good to drive, and sell like water tanks during a Cape Town drought, it is still a massive disappointment in my eyes. Let me explain.

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A good car?

Thanks to a plethora of launch material fed to various titles by the Toyota PR monst… err, machine, everyone knows the basic deal by now. The Supra is a good looking thing on the outside, and will put down a fair whack of six-cylinder, turbocharged power via a state-of-the-art auto transmission.

On paper then, this sounds like a sportscar that is a worthy successor to the A80 Supra of the 1990s, which is surely primed to finally get the Japanese superpower back into the high-profile world of sportscars, the type that will give enthusiasts and tuners a fuzzy feeling where it counts most.

But not for me

But – and this is a big Kim Kardashian-type but – the new Supra is an insult to all of my, admittedly traditional, automotive sensibilities. I absolutely hate it. Before the fan-boys and fan-girls shoot me down whilst I’m still taxiing on the runway, let me explain. It’s a BMW. Simple as that. Honestly, I could just end my rant now and feel comfortable that my point has been sufficiently conveyed.

Tetsuya Tada, the man responsible for the development of the new Supra, has spent so much time at the Nordschleife that he probably speaks with a German accent. This means it will be fast – albeit in a clinical, Teutonic way, and not a bonkers Japanese way – but I genuinely couldn’t care less if Toyota had told us that Ayrton Senna had personally developed this car from his place in the clouds. (RIP Ayrton – ed)

Platform sharing

Now I know that 21 st-century economies of scale mean that co-development, platform sharing and all that other boring stuff, is a requirement to keep the bean-counters happy, but surely Toyota could have tried a little harder on this one? BMW makes some of the sweetest six-cylinder powerplants around, on that you will find very little argument from me, but a Japanese sportscar should never ever (ever ever) have a German engine. It’s like putting mustard on a piece of sashimi… completely uncool.

And if you thought Toyota were lazy with that bit, then you should take a look at the interior. Instead of what I envisage a Supra interior to look and feel like – an LED-drenched combination of piloting a Transformer whilst playing the final level of Dance Dance Revolution – it is a massive, flat expanse of BMW yawniness. All they did was fit a different steering wheel, otherwise, you are driving a Z4, complete with BMW i-Drive functionality. How rubbish is that?

What Toyota have effectively given us is a modified BMW Z4, one of the most heinous and forgettable cars of the modern era. If they were going to copy off BMW’s exam paper, couldn’t they have sat next to the M4 CS instead?

Forgettable

It will not go down in the history books as one of the all-time greats, never mind a classic. Just like the car it shares its DNA with, this new Supra won’t find a place in Jay Leno’s garage. I believe it is destined to drift into obscurity (pun intended). And that hits me with full force right in the bollocks. It stings. And it’s not nice.

About the Author:

Felix grew up in an analogue world when cars ran on gasoline, gears were shifted manually and Michael Schumacher was President of Earth. He is opinionated to the point of being annoying, and isn't shy to share his, often one-sided, views. Should you ever bump into Mr Sourgrapes, be sure to have a handful of salt at the ready...